(photo with this entry is of Hurricane Ike's entry blowing in over Houston, TX. Eight hours in advance we see the rings. These cloud rings were swirling deceptively above us, like a hypnotic cotton-candy carousel. Ring after ring after ring...)
Government mumbo-jumbo…
Let’s plug the new standard “government bail-out” into the Devil’s Dictionary, shall we?
So… we have a new president. For a change, we’re about to Give Peace a Chance… whether we like it or not, dammit. And now I can stop pretending to be Canadian -- and start openly claiming that Pappaw Souter was a quarter black man. Awwwsoomme.
The economy is toxic. The world’s monetary system is toxic. This whole world of ours is toxic… and just begging and pleading for a good, old-fashioned colon-cleanse anyways, so let’s just git-r-done.
To quote the words of the great Lilly Tomlin: Things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get worse.
Now to that dictionary entry…
It looks like the government is about to compensate the shuck-and-jive-mofo idiots on Wall Street more than fairly for their loss. With our tax money! Can you believe it? Believe it, because it’s absurd. And, as these things will happen, it now takes an emergency meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff for a normal person to take advantage of some of these sweet new bail-outs served up to our financiers -- on a naked, beautiful, extremely expensive Chinese woman’s body, no less.
Let’s plug the new standard “government bail-out” into the Devil’s Dictionary, shall we?
So… we have a new president. For a change, we’re about to Give Peace a Chance… whether we like it or not, dammit. And now I can stop pretending to be Canadian -- and start openly claiming that Pappaw Souter was a quarter black man. Awwwsoomme.
The economy is toxic. The world’s monetary system is toxic. This whole world of ours is toxic… and just begging and pleading for a good, old-fashioned colon-cleanse anyways, so let’s just git-r-done.
To quote the words of the great Lilly Tomlin: Things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get worse.
Now to that dictionary entry…
It looks like the government is about to compensate the shuck-and-jive-mofo idiots on Wall Street more than fairly for their loss. With our tax money! Can you believe it? Believe it, because it’s absurd. And, as these things will happen, it now takes an emergency meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff for a normal person to take advantage of some of these sweet new bail-outs served up to our financiers -- on a naked, beautiful, extremely expensive Chinese woman’s body, no less.
Ooohh, we know how you like it, America. Love you long time… (whip cracking)
…but the fun doesn’t stop there!
Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving. Let me remind you of what it is all about in this family during this happy, hallowed holiday: James will be removing the sack of grossness from the turkey’s ass, popping open a beer and finding a football game inHD. Meanwhile, I will be whipping up an amazing feast, along with our assortment of weird, upper-white trash culinary vittles that our mom insists upon every…single…year. A couple of years back, I did not buy the aluminum can jam-packed with mysterious cranberry Jell-o, et al. and our Mom actually teared up. She took it all personal and stuff. Nevermind that I had actually made a fresh relish concoction out of FRESH cranberries, blood orange segments, fresh ginger root, toasted pecans, brown sugar. Oh, hell no! I’ll never pull that trick on our mom again.
And, of course, we will be thinking about you… and, of course, trying not to think about what you will be eating. Please try to call. We’ll all be at my house for the festivities. So pass the beer nuts! No, wait. In observance of the opening of the holiday season: “Pass the candied beer nuts!”
…but the fun doesn’t stop there!
Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving. Let me remind you of what it is all about in this family during this happy, hallowed holiday: James will be removing the sack of grossness from the turkey’s ass, popping open a beer and finding a football game inHD. Meanwhile, I will be whipping up an amazing feast, along with our assortment of weird, upper-white trash culinary vittles that our mom insists upon every…single…year. A couple of years back, I did not buy the aluminum can jam-packed with mysterious cranberry Jell-o, et al. and our Mom actually teared up. She took it all personal and stuff. Nevermind that I had actually made a fresh relish concoction out of FRESH cranberries, blood orange segments, fresh ginger root, toasted pecans, brown sugar. Oh, hell no! I’ll never pull that trick on our mom again.
And, of course, we will be thinking about you… and, of course, trying not to think about what you will be eating. Please try to call. We’ll all be at my house for the festivities. So pass the beer nuts! No, wait. In observance of the opening of the holiday season: “Pass the candied beer nuts!”
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