1-25-08 11:23 p.m.
Hey, Brother -
I’m sorry it takes me so long to get back to you… with my many glamorous social commitments and a busy media schedule, you know…
I have suddenly, and for no good reason, picked up on an old hobby: Painting pictures. I have chosen really “simple projects” such as Indian flamethrowers, snake-charmers and eerie close-ups of famous Indian chiefs. Ha-ha. My ambition just eludes me. Old habits are hard to break. Ass-whippins’, they are.. Probably speaks something of my mental state of mind at this point in my life.
I just finished painting (what was supposed to be) a stunning depiction of an Ogallala Chief. His impressive, sun-dried, beef-jerky face tells of many battles and proud massacres. I haven’t been able to get his hue just right. (he looks mummified) And in my overzealous attempt at the wrinkles, I have given him a cleft pallet. I was aiming for a native-bronzed, sun burnt kind of hue; he simply looks like he is eaten up with melanoma.
We call him “Skin Disease Chief.” I will attach a photo of my rendering of him for you. May it bring you luck, prosperity -- and a keen hankering for sun block when you go out for extended periods of time.
Another stunner -- and which hangs larger than life in our living room -- is a Navajo warrior. (picture attached) Do you notice something peculiarly familiar about him?? Mere' pointed it out right away -- in all of her infinite, artistic, smart-assed wisdom -- ”Mom, your fierce Navajo Indian warrior looks like George Bush.”
Whuu!!? I was so proud of that warrior -- but now everyone is laughing at the George Bush warrior, hanging in our living room. I have threatened to take the damn thing down, but the family just won’t allow it. It has become our newest conversation piece.
What do you think about The Flamethrower? I found an amazing photo in “Time” magazine about five or six years ago. I clipped it out of the magazine and have held onto it ever since. It was my intention to commission a seriously talented, but starving, young artist to paint it for me -- for pennies on the dollar… but just never quite warmed to the idea. So, of course, when the painting bug bit recently, I just thought that I would attempt it myself. I’m pretty pleased with the results. It took me three days. I‘ve made my peace with it.
Pass the beer nuts…
Upon completion of that “masterpiece,” I was feeling kind of punchy, so I thought how incredibly cool it would be to do a companion piece to The Flamethrower: A Snake Charmer! You know, one of those Hodji-fluting-at-the-cobra-dudes? By the way, they’re all over the sidewalks in India: Those huge, spitting cobras, the tip jars, and their very competent Hodji masters… Sh*t!
So I start Googling around for interesting cobra/Hodji combinations. So I type in “snake charmer.” Got some very interesting hits…(yeah, baby!!!) which resulted in the little gal and her boa (constrictor) heh-heh. I could not resist painting that one. It is hung up next to The Flamethrower, as sort of an inside joke.
And the conversation pieces just keep piling up around here…
Later the same evening…
James and I just got home from Babin’s bar. Remember… the NOLA bar of infamous musical misinformation?
Los Lobos is playing on the juke box. I half expect Josh (the bartender/math wiz) to come over just to tell us Los Lobos were actually the first dudes to release Oye Coma Va… and that Tito Puente was accompanying them on the harmonica…or something really profound like that. Instead, we all find ourselves mesmerized by the large plasma-screened TV, tuned to FOX. Without a doubt, one must look like total hell in order to be taken seriously by the executives at Fox. Have you seen their anchors? I’m not one to, well, judge, but… daaaammmmm. You just have to take a serious-as-hell pucker face, well, seriously, ya know?
In spite of all of the “visible exhale”, if we do not have children in tow, James and I are drawn to certain bars. Unfortunately of course we’re mostly surrounded by The Smokers. A convivial, interesting bunch, eager to share their cigarettes and promote (with impunity) their own brand of sage wisdom with anyone in schlepping distance.
Last night the conversation centered mostly around recently-deceased actor, 28-yr-old Heath Ledger. Very sad, I admit. I admired his work and grit.
Heathcliff Andrew Ledger (April 4, 1979 – January 22, 2008) was an Academy Award-nominated Australian actor. After appearing in television roles during the 1990s, Ledger developed a Hollywood career. He starred in both critical and financial successes, including Ten Things I Hate About You, The Patriot, Monster's Ball, A Knight's Tale and Brokeback Mountain, and completed the role of the Joker in the forthcoming movie The Dark Knight shortly before his death.
Amid their “Great Clouds of Accurate Information,“ came comments like…”He musta gone crazy after doing that gay-cowboy-thing”… (puff-puff) or “It was that Joker role on the new Batman that done it.” (puff-puff)
Josh The Bartender is shaking his head sadly, and then he turns to James and I. He tells us that his brother is gay. Not a fag either, but manly-gay…savvy? James and I began nodding thoughtfully. Just something Josh was needing to get off of his mind at that point, I guess -- and another thing for me to add to “The Big List of Things I Need to Care About.”
I learned how to use the “history” function on my computer this week… so I now consider myself a minor sleuth of sorts. Very empowering. You know, in case I need to covertly track internet activity of certain family members. So I decided to try out my new prowess. Not that I needed to, because it was only Chandler, my angel, who was simply checking his email. He is such a sweet boy. So directly after Chandler walks away from my computer, I bring up the internet history (and I‘m feeling a bit guilty about this until)…. “naked cheerleaders” and “lesebean sex”. This made my lower jaw retract…
As you know, Chandler is 13 now, and barely tolerates his association with me, but he was shockingly interested in what I had to say about my newfound computer skill.
I casually mention to Chandler that I occasionally will be checking the history of websites visited. It is my computer, after all, and I do not need to deal with any viruses. (virtual STD) He looks away. I know I’m a touch more neurotic than the average person but…daaaammm! I need to get a handle on a few things around here, most especially my naiveté.
The questionable spelling of “lesbian” immediately eliminated my husband from the list of likely surfing suspects, I‘m glad to say, but this did get me to thinking about certain things that men do just to get female attention (or some semblance of lucky) and it’s adding up to an absolute stockpile of events around here lately. (sigh) I suppose that’s natural.
The really tough part about being 13 is, If you’re not 100 percent certain you’re “hot stuff, “ how do you push past that and persevere? Chandler’s paradigm is a really tough place to be right now. Do you remember any of this? If so, do you have any advice to offer, brother? Not only does he have to compete in the vicious real world but also in this whole underbelly of MySpace, texting and email, which has convoluted what could be a practical tool with the ridiculous and downright alarming.
This morning I opened my email, hoping to get updates from friends, family. I was also expecting an update from Chandler‘s math teacher. Maybe a recipe from Dad. Instead the only new (unsolicited) emails were about topics such as “increase blood flow to the penis” which I suppose would be okay…if I had one. Now see, these emails manage to make us think about things/needs we would not otherwise ponder.
(A wordy explanation on how our kids are exposed to way much more than we were, without a doubt.)
I read this somewhere: Computers allow us make more mistakes faster than any other human invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.
( …a direct quote from the Bible, I‘m sure.)
And while we’re on the subject of tequila… James and I both have noticed some questionable activity in the liquor cabinet…and it is quickly becoming “a situation.” Gentle parental questioning has lead to ….generally getting a death stare from one or both… and blatant denials…of course… leading to more rigorous and heated exchanges.
My gentle questions quickly turn into inane, incredulous statements, becoming stoopid-er and stoppid-er by the minute: “You two guys!! I’m not stoop-idd!! Because I figure after 25 years, dammit, your Mom remembers enough of it-- because it’s not like it was 20 years ago, when Mom was 18 -- like one of you is now!! -- when I was a frikkin’ gawd-dam genius, gawd-dammitt!!-- and now that I’ve been doing this for 25 years, and I’m 38, I know!!! I am not an idiot!!!…
Um… see what I mean? And now I’m having tormenting visions of the children drifting off at night into drunken seizures, drowning in pools of vomit -- just before whisper-hollering downstairs to me!!…(“Mom, you were right!! Help!!!”)
…meanwhile, I’m zombied-out downstairs, watching the Turner Classic Movie Channel with three hounds and a seriously snoring husband…
Dammmit, I need a few helper monkeys around here. Life can be hard sometimes.
Now, regarding the very cool new rock star association I have, (Toehold in reality time!!!) Your sister possesses the psychotic conviction that she is 100 percent hot sh*t, evidently….
Dilana Robichaux is a singer, songwriter, and performer who lives in Los Angeles, California. She is best known as the runner-up contestant on the CBS reality television show Rock Star: Supernova
Biography
Dilana Jansen VanVüren was born in Johannesburg, South Africa on August 10, 1972. Her surname changed to Smith when she was about two years old, when her mother married her stepfather, and he adopted her. Dilana used singing as an escape from an unpleasant home scene, participating in school choir competitions and festivals, as well as church choir.
When the opportunity presented itself, Dilana dropped everything and started performing full time, from a traveling duo, to a mixture of bands in South Africa and The Netherlands. Moving to the Netherlands, she formed her own band, focusing more on original works and becoming one of the country’s highest paid live performers.
Recording her first album Wonderfool in 2000 led to four music videos, five singles and well over 200 gigs. She also sang the title tracks for two major motion pictures and performed in a festival in Belgium supporting Joe Cocker, K's Choice and Heather Nova to a crowd of more than 100,000 people. Dilana also performed at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, with other Dutch performers.
Supernova
Dilana was one of the finalists on the CBS reality television show of season two of Rock Star, where she finished runner-up to Lukas Rossi. The show is a competition in which the band chooses a lead singer from a group of contestants. Although Dilana received the most consistent praise for her performances of all the contestants, she came under fire from fans, her competition, and from Supernova because of comments she made during a staged press conference, in which she was forthcoming with her opinion of her competitors. Although she apologized repeatedly for her remarks afterwards, it appears that her first "bottom three" appearance was a result of this controversy. The controversy seemed to die down by the end of the program; on the final night of voting, she was said to have received the highest number of votes at least at one point during the evening, and ended up with the second highest number overall. On November 17, 2006, Gilby Clarke revealed that Lukas Rossi defeated Dilana because "he made [their] music sound more like a band, whereas Dilana sounded like a singer, with Supernova backing her."
Gigs and Tours
Following her participation on Rock Star, Dilana performed various venues with fellow Rock Star: Supernova finalist Magni; with Magni, she won an FM957 People's Choice Award (Icelandic Grammy) for "Gig of the Year" in January of 2007. From November to December of 2006, Dilana headlined her first independent tour in the United States, sponsored by Urok clothing, which also distributes and sells her new clothing line. From January to February of 2007, she opened for the Rock Star Supernova tour, playing an acoustic set with Magni on guitar. While critics generally panned Rock Star Supernova, Dilana's performances were met with positive reception.[1][2] Following the Rock Star Supernova tour, Dilana will perform at various locations before embarking on another solo tour following the release of her album. This includes opening for the band Aerosmith on April 28, 2007 at the Manadalay Bay in Las Vegas.
In The Studio
Dilana has stated that her upcoming album is slated for a 2008 release date. It will be recorded with the help of Gilby Clarke, No Doubt drummer Adrian Young, Mötley Crüe guitarist Mick Mars, Satellite Party basist Carl Restivo, fellow Rock Star: Supernova finalist Magni, former Acceptance members and the Rock Star houseband and released through her newly created record label "Rusty Harp." She has also mentioned that this album will feature her original work, opposed to covers; however, she has released covers of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and The Police classic "Roxanne". It is unclear whether they will be included on the final tracklisting. Through YouTube on her personal account "DilanaVids", she released the music video for Holiday, which she created using footage from her life after rising to fame in the United States. Dilana was also featured on a re-recording of "Black", a track on Gilby Clarke's best-of album released January 30, 2007.[3] In June of 2007, Dilana signed a long-term, international co-publishing agreement with major company Cherry Lane Publishing joining a roster including John Legend, Wolfmother, The Black Eyed Peas and Mick Mars. [4]
…One day a couple months ago I found a hand-written note scotch-taped to my front door: “Please Come to a Party at Your New Neighbor’s House. BYOB.“
Simply excellent. I refuse to acknowledge that sort of riff-raff invitation from a new neighbor. So instead, I decide to walk my dog. One the way home, I hear some extremely cool music coming from the back yard of the new neighbor. Our cul-de-sac is just jam-packed with about 15 brand-spanking-new corvettes.
So…I decide to slick back my extremely cool platinum hairdo, slip into an extremely cool anti-mother ensemble, and go investigate.
… and meet perhaps two of the greatest friends I will ever have: Dilana and Dickey. Extremely cool people. Dilana digs my poetry and made the comment, do you have any idea what you have written? We are from the same tribe, girl! You could be rich! I could use some of your lyrics…!!
Um…well, that fired me up, as much as I allow myself to become fired up about anything anymore…and so I have been writing songs (based upon my dark poetry) ever since.
Perhaps I’m the next undiscovered songwriting genius? Or maybe not. Honestly, I’m just a self-indulgent, extremely happy idiot savant. Nice. What more could an aging hipster mommy want?!?
Nothing, that’s what -- Not a damn-thing more.
Life has been interesting around here, to say the least. As a result of my latest brush with karma, I have made a study of famous songwriters, you know, to see what that scene is all about. Interestingly, I happened upon one of the most famous songwriters of this decade. She has her own star on the Hollywood Walk. Her name is Diane Warren. I faxed her over a letter, introducing myself, and our possible family connection; that I myself am an esteemed writer…(!!!) and have not heard back…heh-heh.
Not sure I will, as I am such a big-ass threat to her, you know. So… like…when you get sprung, make sure to bring over your friends and fancy-ass recording equipment. I’ll let you sing. (I’m the songwriter remember) Maybe you’ll become the next Meatloaf….(seriously)…
But for now… my new whacked-out stylings are just sitting there on my new, private, lyrics website, you know, glowing like radiation.
I must sound like a total fool to you, Shane. But it is all the truth. You know me… “Daughter-of-Roland” kind of business… but I will tell you something strange. About six weeks before I met Dilana, I had a dream that I had started writing songs for U2. Jeez…are your ears starting to bleed yet? I woke up with such strong conviction that I started researching it…and quickly wrote-off the notion. After all, autographing books and assorted body parts has never really been my goal in life. I just simply enjoy the “craft.”
Possibly by the time you are released, I will be quarantined to some little room with my psychotic little convictions, clutching reams and reams of “my work“; rocking and stroking it, calling it “the precious.”
…And if you have not seen “Lord of the Rings”…you have absolutely no tag to my bizarre reference…and are probably praying for me.
As you know, my only aspiration is to just get though another day with my teenagers without having my pants fall down around my ankles…that’s always a triumph, ya know?
I’m feeling a little punchy. I’ve had a pot of coffee already, it’s 10:30 a.m., and I just can’t believe that it’s not 3 p.m…. somebody please hold me.
And now I REALLY need to hook a toe into reality, sign off and “get some stuff done.” Chandler and I are headed to The Woodlands Mall. I have told him “Do not ask for one, single thing! And I absolutely mean it…this time…young man!” The house is now filled with the overpowering scent of young man cologne and I am about to gag on the fumes.
And you’d probably rather be reading an informative packet on people with Down’ Syndrome anyway… so I will sign off for now.
Hurry up.
K
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